glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I think I am morally bankrupt
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Randomize
