How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I would ride that face into the sunset
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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