We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
We are two peas in an std pod
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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