I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
