Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
