toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
