Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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