She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
