In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
