i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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