If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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