I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
