hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Randomize
