so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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