Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
