The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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