i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
