maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
