but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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