You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
