He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
