party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
