Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You ruined the universe
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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