I just made out with a guy for $7.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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