he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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