Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
