Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
