Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Randomize
