NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
