So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
