I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
