I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
