Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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