i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Are we still banned from the library?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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