I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
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