What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
