oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
