Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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