girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
