that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
