idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
