let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
