So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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