I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Acid is not a monday night drug
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Randomize
