I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
