why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
