Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
