i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
