My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I pour the whiskey from now on
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
