It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
